A thousand wolves have eaten grandmother, a thousand princesses have been kissed. A million unknowing actors have moved, unknowing, through the pathways of story.
It is now impossible for the third and youngest son of any king, if he should embark on a quest which has so far claimed his older brothers, not to succeed.
Stories don’t care who takes part in them. All that matters is that the story gets told, that the story repeats. Or, if you prefer to think of it like this: stories are a parasitical life form, warping lives in the service only of the story itself.
You don’t have enough badges to hit me!
This thing is a thing I enjoy.
Go to the hardware store and steal all of the colour schemes.
Fruit & Herb Infused Water
Make a pitcher - perfect for springtime!Lavender Citrus Water - Best if consumed first thing in the morningalleviates anxiety, digestive aid, liver detoxifier, antibacterial, alkalizer
- 3 large lemons, cut into thick slices
- ¼ cup lavender
- ½ gallon of waterMinty Pineapple Watergood for digestion, high in Vitamin A&C, combats allergies, energy, prevent nausea, metabolism
- 8-10 mint leaves
- 1/4 portion of a pineapple, peeled and cut into small triangles
- 8 cups waterBlackberry Sage Waterhigh in antioxidants, bone health, helps relieve PMS, skin rejuvenator, anti-inflammatory, anti-viral
- 10 cups of water
- 1 cup of blackberries that have been very slightly crushed
- 3-4 sage leavesWatermelon Rosemary Waterheart healthy, potassium, diuretic, improved memory, mood elevator, fresh breath, anti-aging
- 10 cups of water
- 1 cup of watermelon cut into cubes
- 2 rosemary stemsRefrigerate over night if possible, otherwise, at least 3 hours.Enjoy!
When Aisha Tyler was selected to be the presenter for the 2012 Ubisoft E3 press conference, she received an unprecedented flood of hate from trolls who complained about the fact that she knew nothing about gaming. Too bad haters didn’t do their homework first, because as it turns out Aisha Tyler knows more about gaming that all of us put together. Her Facebook response was awesome and predictably went viral. In case you missed it, here’s her masterpiece. Haters, take note.
I’ve played since I was a little kid.
Since I begged my dad to buy me a Nintendo LCD Donkey Kong, Jr.
Since I blew through three weeks’ allowance playing Defender at the laundromat.
Since you were a twinge in the left side of your daddy’s underoos.
I’ve been a gamer since I made friends with a girl in the 5th grade just to get at her Atari.
Since I missed the bus playing Galaga after school.
Since I missed the start of Return of the Jedi playing Tempest in the theater lobby.
You think you know. You don’t know.
I’ve been a gamer since before you could read.
Since I aced midterms after staying up all night playing Evil Tetris.
Since I became dorm champ at Leisure Suit Larry.
Since I double-wielded on Time Crisis 3 at Fuddrucker’s.
I was a voice in not one, but two major video game titles.
I hosted the Reach Beta tutorial.
I was a Gears of War superfan panelist at ComicCon.
I hosted the Ubisoft presser at E3 2012.
I didn’t do any of it for the money.
For most I got paid next to nothing, and for some, less than that.
I did it because I love video games.
Because I’ve dreamt since I was a kid of being in one of the games I love.
How many games have you done voices for?
How many cons have you repped at?
Your buddy’s Unreal Tournament garage deathmatch doesn’t count.
I go to E3 each year because I love video games.
Because new titles still get me high.
Because I still love getting swag.
Love wearing my gamer pride on my sleeve.
People ask me what console I play.
Motherfucker, ALL of them.
I get invited to E3 because real gamers know I’m a gamer.
I don’t do it for the money.
I have plenty of money.
I don’t do it for the fame.
I do it because I love video games.
I don’t give out my gamertag because I don’t want a mess of noob jackholes lining up
to assassinate me on XBL.
I don’t give a shit what you think about my gamerscore.
I don’t play to prove a point.
I don’t play to be the best.
I play because I love it.
I’ve been playing my whole life.
I’m not ashamed of it.
I don’t apologize for it.
It’s who I am.
To the core.
I’m a gamer.
So to all the haters out there who claim I don’t play;
To the GAF dicks,
To every illiterate racist douchebag on Youtube:
Flame away. Go nuts.
Post every jackass comment your heart desires.
I’ll still be playing when your mom’s kicked you out of her basement
and you have to sell your old-ass console
and get a real job.
For now, I say to you respectfully,
and I mean this from the bottom of my heart,
And not a single fucking game dev came to her aid when this happened
NOT A SINGLE FUCKING ONE
But when Felicia Day’s lily white ass got insulted, PEOPLE GOT FIRED. People lost their minds and bent over backwards to kiss her ass.
Aisha only had Black women to back her up.